Thursday, August 20, 2009

hmm...

i feel like i just have to write it somewhere.

"i wish you could just understand that they are mine and maybe you should back off."

i wish i was still 14. then i could just write lots of pointless angst-ridden blogs and it really wouldn't matter. Maybe I should make a fake profile and pretend to be 14 and then i could be bursting at the scenes with angst.

On the plus side. I re-discovered my dream journal that i started in 2005. i'm terrible at keeping up to date and writing in it. but gee it's a good read!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

story

i think one day soon i'll actually be ready to write my story.

Monday, May 4, 2009

packages.

today the last of kirby's birthday presents arrived, so i was able to give them to her only one day late. i thought that would be exciting enough, but when i found the last package by the door... there was also one for me.

i couldn't remember ordering anything, there is a book i ordered from dymocks that they never actually sent me, or charged me for even, so i thought perhaps it was finally that... but when i opened it, it was this book "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies"... when i opened it, i was thinking 

hmm... i remember looking at this online... i don't remember ordering it... or did i? maybe i did... i do forget things a lot... and i do order a lot... i must have forgotten all about it... oh tash... you are quite silly...

but then i checked my emails, and my bank, and my credit card transactions... and i definitely didn't buy this book... also... there was no receipt with the package, like you get with things you order online...

so my suspicions are that it was either my mum, or my brother in law, it's the type of thing they would do... but then, i don't see why they wouldn't say something to me, or at least make a hint about it. the complete anonymity about it makes me think that perhaps it was someone else... just doing a nice deed or maybe just wanting to do something nice to make me happy. i think maybe i'd prefer not to know, because the thought of people doing nice things, and not needing recognition for them makes me smile. 

xx

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

writing.

sometimes i change the font i write my stories in to try and reinvent them for myself so i am inspired.
sometimes this works.
sometimes this does not.

Friday, April 24, 2009

heroes.

i'm almost finished with heroes season 3.
this program makes me so anxious. 
i almost want it to be over just so that i'm not trying to figure out how it ends.
but then when it's over i know i'll miss it.
it is my current addiction.
i've only recently got over torchwood, and my supernatural addiction is on hold.

i finished getting all of kirby's birthday presents today.
i wont talk about it. 
just in case she reads this.
but it's going to be fantastic.

although the one thing she does know about, is the plane tickets to melbourne!
i'm so excited to be going to melbourne... TO SEE JOHN GREEN!
oh joy!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

television and stuff.

Wednesday night has become an even better night of television.
I was looking forward to seeing Lawrence Leung's Choose Your Own Adventure.
It really lived up to expectations, I was laughing the whole time.

I partially wish I had gone to see his show at the Fringe, but I'm also glad that I stayed at Frank's. Definitely had a good night. 
Although I'm still suffering from it, and it's Wednesday...
I'm going to miss him...

I've been avoiding uni this whole week due to intense tiredness... probably not a good thing. 
But on a positive note JBHIFI had My Sims for Wii for only $27!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

the moleskin: does that mean it's made out of moles?

Some day soon I'm planning on buying this. as in some day after Thursday, that may hopefully perhaps be known as Friday. 

I'm really enjoying my class The Short Story it's great to be given the chance to write around other people who don't really know what they're doing either. As soon as I saw the red moleskin notebook I knew that I had to have it. 

For someone who doesn't like the colour red, I sure have a real attraction to it... But I want to have a notebook that I will carry around with me everywhere, so that I can write down all the little things that come into my head: the scenes, the characters, the phrases, the lines.

I'm so glad I got over my fear about letting people know I wanted to be a writer. I've just always felt that if I actually let people know I'd have to instantly present them with all this proof about what a brilliant writer I am. The truth is I'm not a brilliant writer, I may never be, but if I don't at least give it a go then I know I'd constantly regret it.

So watch out you little red moleskin, after friday you will be subjected to my ever changing slightly appalling handwriting. 

Monday, March 9, 2009

Study.

Just back to what I said before about people saying that university wont get you a job.
There was a guy at work saying that there are lots of people who have double degrees who don't get jobs, and he was basically going on about what a waste of money it was.

I'm not doing a double degree so that it'll help further my career prospects. I'm doing it because I want to learn. I want to gain knowledge, whether it ends up being useful in my future career is beside the point. Three years is just such a short time, I'm not even sure if after the four years of my double degree I'll be finished. I may stay in university, I might do something at TAFE or I may go out and get a job. I'm not sure yet, but I'm not only at university to get a job, I'm there because I enjoy what I'm doing any I enjoy learning.

End of story.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Giraffe Necks and Other Things.


I'm yet to find out what this is from...

I've spent almost the whole day working on uni stuff. Doing readings and various other things. I just thought I would have so much more done by 3:00PM.
I have this assumption that if I actually do the work than uni will be incredibly easy, it is easier... but it still takes a lot of effort.

I've been scared once again by talk like "you wont be able to get a job once you're finished at university". I want to immerse myself so much more in the media world. I want to get more experience and volunteer for things. I want to get involved with things like On Dit, I want to start something of my own. I want to get experience so that when I do finish uni I know where I want to go and what I want to do. It's just currently it seems like time is just slipping away, I think of starting things but it seems like the end is too near for anything to eventuate.

I'm hoping that instead of this just leaving me stuck in a rut, it'll actually motivate me to do more and get more involved. I still have three years left, so I suppose I'll just have to see how things go.

Other than fears about where my life is going in the future, I've also got fresh worries about right now. One of the guys from work was saying how our boss is angry that us casuals can hardly ever work, and because of this he wants to hire a whole load of new people. I always get worried when I hear of things like this, especially in times like this when security in retail is a very uncertain thing. I'm sure it's just a rumor, but I can't help but get worried... despite the fact that there are only two days during the week when I'm not able to work.

Oh well. I'm sure it'll all work out.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

the here and now.

first week back at uni is done and dusted.
currently i'm loving it, but i don't know how much longer that is going to last.

i'm also back at work tomorrow.

i really attempted to do uni work tonight. but it just didn't want to happen.
i kept trying to figure out what it was i was supposed to do.
i mean if lecturers want you to do work, why can't they explain it properly!
i did at least manage to finish off reading the legend of sleepy hollow, and i did some free writing. 

plus i changed the extra high lightbulb in the toilet today!

Monday, March 2, 2009

how many second year university students does it take to change a lightbulb.

i just searched on google how to change a lightbulb.
i cannot get the bulb out!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Orientation Week

Dunedin Orientation Week...
WOW.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Pictures and Stuff.







I'm almost half way through the New Zealand trip now. We've gone basically from one side of the South Island to the other and then back again.

One of the strangest things about being here, is that it's not Australia. I suppose I expected it to be the same, the people to be the same, everything in Australia to be here. But it's just not Australia... and it seems weird.



When I was in Fiji I wrote a list of things that I wanted to do/achieve in 2009. Sort of like resolutions I suppose. One of them was to get a subscriber on YouTube other than my friends (i.e. Kirby and Helen). The other day I did! Even though I'm still incredibly nervous about posting videos because I probably seem like a complete twat, I just felt pretty awesome that someone else actually wanted to watch them.

T'is All.

Friday, February 20, 2009

new zealand. hells yeah.

bad things about being overseas when i have money on my credit card:
i buy things.
lots.

things i have bought online since being in new zealand:
-the penguin book of keeping house
-the chronicles of narnia dvd box set (the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, prince casbian, the dawn treader + the silver chair)
-a polaroid camera
-a kodak instant camera that doesn't work
-a basket for the back of my bike
-6 dvds for uni


oh and probably lots of other stuff i can't remember.
i'm also bidding on blue water high season 1 and 2 as a welcome home present to me for kirby...
i think i have a very unhealthy obsession.

new zealand is great and stuff though.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

reading and such.

I read a book last night. Long Way Down by Nick Hornby.
I really enjoy Nick Horby books in a similar way to how I enjoy Ben Elton books.
They just have a way of relating to me, that I don't get from many other books, even though some others are my favourites. I just get something different from reading them.

In one part one of the characters JJ was going on about something called music rage, and the anger that you feel when someone can't understand a particular song the way that you do. I wrote the whole passage in a note on facebook, it just in a way was exactly how I feel about the music that I listen to, and the passion that I can hear in the songs I listen to versus the songs that I hear at work on Nova.



I'm still in Fiji at the moment. I went on this thing called a Zip the other day. You get strapped into a harness and basically zip along this metal wire from one platform in the trees to another. I was absolutely terrified at first, but it was an amazing experience. I suppose this was a similar feeling to when I first when scuba diving. I don't have too much else planned while I'm here, apart from going to a spa to get a facial, manicure and pedicure and then also get a henna tattoo on my wrist.

I do want to find some time to just walk around town and take some photos. Perhaps tomorrow will be the day?

Friday, February 6, 2009

four points.

* my video wont upload and it frustrates me a little.
* i just watched a good movie called phoebe in wonderland. recommended.
* i have been way to affected by dreams that seem like they really happened, no matter how ridiculous they are.
* i want to discover some sort of moment while i'm away from everything but i don't think it's happening yet.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Stargazing

She follows me outside of the house, her hair is loosely pulled back and her dress floats in the light breeze. I watch her as she kicks aside an empty bottle with her barefoot, and steps ever so lightly over a piece of discarded furniture.
“Don’t go.” She says.
Instead I make my way over to the trampoline and she follows, pulling herself up. Lying with out backs on the trampoline we stare up at the night sky.
“The stars are like diamonds.” She says.
I tell her that they may look like diamonds here, but in the country they look like stars. In the country you can see the swirls of the milky way, you can see the entire sky littered with stars, you can actually imagine flying through the galaxies.
“You’ll have to take me one day” She says.
I ask her if she means to the country, or if she means through the galaxies.
“Both I suppose.” She says.
I lay my arms out and she scoots up to lay her head on me, still staring up at the stars. I explain to her the names of the different constellations as best as I can remember them. She listens intently. Her left arm is draped over my body so I decide to hold her with my free arm.

“I like the music” I say.
She tells me that she’s pleased. She tells me she can increase my musical knowledge. She talks about the music, about the musicians. The words blur in my mind.
“You’re beautiful.” I say.
She keeps talking about the music, almost not even hearing me. She’s smarter than I gave her credit for.
She tells me she’s scared of getting old.
“It’s not so bad.” I say.

“Do you believe in magic?” She asks.
I tell her that I suppose not.
“Do you believe in God?” She asks.
I tell her that I’m not quite sure.


She looks up at me. Our coffee’s sit on the table, untouched, her hand rests gently in mine.
I ask her if she’d like to spend the rest of her life with me.
“I think I would.” She says.
We get married one day, outside under the great big shinning sun. That night we lie under the stars.
“The stars look better in the country, don’t they?” I ask.
She tells me that they do. She tells me that I still have to take her through the galaxies. I tell her there’s plenty of time for that.
Her stomach begins to grow, until it is almost as round as a bowling ball. She takes my hand and places it on her belly.
“I felt it.” I say.
I hold her hand as she pushes, and the beads of sweat roll down her forehead. I hold her hand as the doctors hold our son. I hold her hand as we hear no cries coming from his mouth.
She sits in the corner of the nursery with her back turned to me, looking up at the stars.
“I wonder what is up there.” She says.
I tell her that I’m an old man now, too old to build a rocket ship to fly through the galaxies.
She tells me that she’s not sure if she loves me anymore.
“I’m surprised you loved me in the first play.” I say.
I leave the room and she follows me, kicking a stray toy out of the way with her bare foot. She follows me into the bedroom where I lay down on the bed. She scoots up to rest her head on my arm.

I open my eyes to find that I’m still lying on the trampoline, with her nestled up to me.
She is old enough to be an adult, but seems young enough to be a child. I tell her that I should be going.
“Don’t go.” She says.
I tell her that I’ll never be able to fly her through the galaxies. I tell her that if we fall in love then one day she’ll stop loving me. I tell her that I’ll be an old man before she has a chance to become a woman.
“I thought as much.” She says.
She climbs off the trampoline, her dress floats lightly as her bare feet touch the grass. She leans up towards me, her heals lifting from the ground. Lightly her lips touch mine, and just for a moment she kisses me.
“Tonight I’ll love you forever.” She says.
I ask her what that means. She doesn’t reply. She walks back inside the house with her dress floating in the breeze.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

hotels.

Apparently when business groups hire out rooms in hotels, they space all people far apart.
It's so that if the business men want to bring prostitutes home, their workmates are less likely to know about it.


Saturday, January 31, 2009

on another note.

It always surprises me how Gerling started off as being a band with a song that I always got confused with the Strokes...
And then they end up being completely different, and keep popping up with all of these old songs I Actually know. 

Plus, there is an immortal ant in my room.

holidays begin.



I started packing tonight. I'm mostly excited about getting away from this 40+ degree weather! 
Last night was the first night it has actually been cool in a while, so me and Kirby slept out on the trampoline. The mozzies were biting. But It was a darn sight better than sleeping inside. I have salt stains on my bed from sweating so much. Gross... I know...

I bought 2 pairs of shorts, 4 pairs of tights, 2 t-shirts, 1 skirt and 2 pairs of shoes the other day, and spent about $600 of my pay. I also bought this really cool sequin beanie, while completely useless in Adelaide at the moment It's going to be super cool when I'm walking around the glaciers in New Zealand.

Currently I'm home alone waiting for Kirby and Helen to both get back from their respective Nando's stores. Reasons why they should totally quit Nandos?
1. They get paid shitty amounts
2. Nando's changed their employee discount system and I can no longer get cheap food
3. They get home way too late which leaves me at home getting scared of bumps in the night.



Tuesday, January 27, 2009

fiji baby.

I leave for Fiji/New Zealand in (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) SIX days.
I have not considered packing, or any thing of the sort.
I do have a replacement receipt for mum and dad's Wii though, courtesy of the lovely boys at EB games. So hopefully I can get that duty free for them.

I am in desperate need to buy some pants of some description for when we go walking in New Zealand, but due to my great dislike of pants instead I'm planning on buying some shorts and an assortment of tights from american apparel. I am also going to buy some converses so that I have some walking shoes.

The weather here has started to get VERY hot, I'm wondering if we're going to get another heat wave this year. I think it was high 30s low 40s today, and it's continuing for the rest of the week. I can't say I'm utterly thrilled about it.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

so it goes.

I'm a little bit scared that things that I always thought would be constant, might not be the same anymore.
I just want him to be okay.